Afghan wizards hold conference


21 August 2021

Moin Khan


Wizards in Afghanistan were collecting in the capital, Kabul, on Friday to decide the future make up of the government.

Fighters arrived in dusty pick up trucks, bristling with arms, into what just days before had been a Goblin stronghold. The Muggle planes and drones that had recently circled overhead like vultures in support of the UN's Goblin Republic of Afghanistan were nowhere to be seen.

However fighters in the victorious Student army were taking no chances.

"We didn't use the flying carpets to come to Kabul," explained 18 year old Karim Wahid, of the Badr corps. "They are still watching us from the air, the American and British Muggles. Using satellite technology and drones. We have to take a lot of precautions when moving around."

No doubt. Muggle contraptions like trucks are slower than brooms and flying carpets, and a general inconvenience, requiring filling with petrol and prone to breakdowns.

But just how did a small group of wizards defeat the biggest Muggle power on the planet, and its allies from a hundred other Muggle nations? And then sweep across Afghanistan's mountainous terrain in a matter of days, dislodging the Goblin Republic's army, four times its own size, causing its leader, Afshu Gobdug to flee to the United Goblin Emirates? Surely, they must have used some magic to achieve this feat, which even the Great Alexander would have been proud of?

The Student Army commander, Adil Bakhar, merely smiled and brushed away such questions.

"There was no breach of the International Statute of Secrecy, we were careful and were not seen."

However, his men were less circumspect.

"We can't use the Avada Kedavra, the Muggles and Goblins would notice dead bodies without gunshot wounds on them," confided Wahid, "but the Muggles working for the Goblins are easily confunded, and they all ran away before our advance!"

His colleague drew out a wand when his commander was not looking, and waved it in the air. Red and gold sparks showered the area as he next magicked up the Taliban flag, which he waved around as the young men in the regiment gathered around cheering and clapping.

From the puzzled looks of not a few, I was sure that they had Muggles among them. Their commander, Bakhar, briefly glanced in their direction and frowned but otherwise turned a blind eye to this open evidence of magic in front of Muggles, a serious breach of the Statute.

Other Student commanders seemed to have similar problems controlling their jubiliant charges, and we saw many instances of small fireworks and blue wizard campfires, as we drove into central Kabul, where the leaders of the movement were meeting.

No word has yet been received of a breakthrough regarding the form of government or its choice of capital, but an announcement that a leadership council composed of top wizard commanders will rule was made just before Ahmed Karadar, an old hand in the Student army, declared his return to the country. 

The ability of the wizards to consolidate the gains of their recent campaign and keep Afghanistan free of Muggle politics will now rest on the cooperation and unity of wizards throughout the land. There is no doubt that the new government will have to contend with renewed pressure from the Muggle nations once they have recovered from their shock at seeing their goblin allies fall without a fight in just a few days.

©️ Daily Prophet