Profiles of the Top Quidditch Teams
Note: members of a Quidditch team are always listed in this order:
First Chaser (or Captain), Second Chaser, Third Chaser, First Beater, Second Beater, Keeper, Seeker.
Note 2: Professional Quidditch club and player earnings. Unlike Muggle football, where the club is owned by non-players, usually a rich foreign boss, Quidditch clubs are always owned by their active (regular) players. Reserves get salaries but the regular players get a 7th share of profits. Clubs do not transfer, 'buy' or loan players. Joining a pro team means you become an owner of the club and have a commitment to make it work (without money worries - the spirit of quid-ditch!)
The totals given below are gross annual earnings, not including costs (of staff, travel etc which can run into the hundreds of thousands of Loftemarks). The prize money and sponsorship may seem high for a small wizarding community, but remember Quidditch is the only wizarding sport, and a lot of sponsorship flows into the sport as a result. All clubs also run a week long tournament at their home stadium, and those like Cologne who run one of the Grand Slams make a big profit from it. Of course there are also clubs like Paris Dejourné, which have a home Grand Slam (the Paris Open) but do relatively badly in the league. Operating a big Open isn't always a sure path to success. Though it no doubt helps the club finances in lean years!
The top Quidditch teams:
1. Essen Dragons
The current World Number 1s, and still going strong despite over two decades of domination where they've hardly dropped a quaffle or allowed any team a peak at the top titles!
Club colours: red and black
Club logo: red dragon on a black background
Team robes
By day: black with a red dragon draped over the shoulder
By night: grey with a large sequined red dragon over the back and left shoulder
Players: Ralf Schmidt (c), Ilya Koraph, Hans Kallan, Sammy Halep, Gerhard Höest, Mitt Weber and Hans Geister (Harry Potter)
Apart from members occasionally leaving the team to get married or just to take time out from the tour, the Essen team has consistently featured these 7 players since the lineup first played in 1996. Captain Schmidt's gamble on Harry Potter as Seeker on the team, proved to be the clincher in a young team that lacked a Seeker to match the brilliance of the rest of their play. Once Potter, or Geister as he became known, was on the team, the rest as they say, was history.
Since 1996, Essen Dragons have won every trophy of renown, and their dominance is reaching levels that only the teams in the early years of Quidditch (pre-1645), who could consistently win 4-5 of the Grand Slams each year, in runs lasting decades, achieved. Of course the athletic requirements were less then, so already, the current Essen Dragons team has a claim to being the Greatest team (Greatest Of All Time - GOAT) in Quidditch history.
Total prize winnings and sponsorship in 2020: 17.8 million Loftemarks ($178 million)
2. Thuringen Therosaurs
The longtime rivals of Essen Dragons, who have been eclipsed by Essen in this current period. Being World Number 2 for much of the last two decades will be small consolation for Thuringen, which once boasted a long term record as good as Essen's.
Since the modern professional Quidditch tour started in 1645 (the year when the youngest and sixth Grand Slam, Hamburg, was agreed), Essen have won 446 Grand Slams out of a total of 2,256 Slams on offer, more than one for every year of those 376 years. 122 of those 446 Slams have come just in the last 25 years! That's an incredible 122 out of 150 Grand Slams, or an 81% tournament win rate! An unbelievable win rate.
But up until 1996, Thuringen could claim to be on an equal footing and even perhaps the superior club historically. They had 304 Grand Slams (now 321) to Essen's tally of 324 big trophies. However a lot of Essen's Grand Slams were wins at the sixth and smallest Grand Slam, Hamburg (78 of 324), while Thuringen had more of the bigger Grand Slams like Altstraase, Paris and the Berlin Open. Thuringen were the better club, despite the 20 Slam difference, or so their captain at the time, Andrej Hössflowein, pointed out in 1995. The current captain isn't making that claim, as Essen's record stands alone among the major clubs. A record that Thuringen for decades to come will be wanting to catch up.
Club colours: green or variously yellow and brown
Club logo: a brown, toothed mongoose or therosaur holding a wand on a green background
Team robes
By day: yellow and brown stripes
By night: yellow with a brown mongoose on the back
Players: Jarl Kammenberg, Claude Bösch (c), Stefan Defoe, Hendel Hofmann, Johannes Pohl, Wenzel Schickle, Wilhelm Kühn
Total prize winnings and sponsorship in 2020: 9 million Loftemarks ($90 million)
3. Kologne Krautzeir
The World Number 3 team and the greatest threat on the tour for 100 years before 1996, Kologne (also written as Cologne or Köln), had an incredible record prior to Essen shattering ideas of what was possible in the modern game. From 1896 to 1996, Kologne won 131 Grand Slams, and had a total tally of 175 (now 180), since their re-emergence as a major force in Quidditch in the 1800s. That compared to 85 Grand Slams for Essen, and 92 for Thuringen in the same 100 year period.
Kologne may no longer be the 'danger team' feared by every other team, as it was known prior to 1996, with its domination of the Berlin Cup now a thing of the past, but the Krauts are still number 3 in Germany and internationally and always in with a shot at the top Opens should Essen show signs of faltering.
Club colours: purple
Club logo: white fleur-de-lil on a purple background
Team robes
By day: purple
By night: white with a purple fleur-de-lil on the back
Players: Manfred Steigis, Jörgen Fischer, Mannheim Össe, Akamin Reiser, Leo Dietrich, Günter Fjerd, Kebbel Weiß
Total prize winnings and sponsorship in 2020: 7.6 million Loftemarks ($76 million)
Cologne Cup earnings: 120,000 Loftemarks ($1.2 million)
4. Nantes Amouré
Currently the top ranked French team, known more these days for its famous captain and heart throb, Alexei Joubert, a close friend of Hans Geister (Harry Potter) than its wins. Having won a total of just 4 Grand Slams in the last 25 years, the French club from the Loire Valley, home to Beauxbatons Academy of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and all things beautiful, has underperformed like the rest of Essen's rivals during this period. Its historic tally is 75 Grand Slams, and its best run was in the 1960s, when the club took 16 Slams in just 10 years.
Club colours: light green
Club logo: 4 stars on a green background
Team robes
By day: light green
By night: light green with 4 silver stars on the back
Players: Alexei Joubert (c), Garrick Somme, Sardek Almein, Yves Doumas, Silhen Wistar, Clement Schumer, Daryl Day
Total prize winnings and sponsorship in 2020: 8.3 million Loftemarks ($83 million)
5. Münster Archaemens
What kind of name is that, you ask. But Münster have always had character and an individual style, though it hasn't always helped them to win. Their current ranking is their highest for 4 decades, and their trophy cabinet has benefited from their big Grand Slam win at Paris last year, lifting their historic tally from 45 to 46 Grand Slams.
Club colours: Maroon and black
Club logo: a black anvil and hammer on a maroon background
Team robes
By day: maroon
By night: maroon and white stripes
Players: Wilhelm Wocker(c), Bernard Klaus, Moffat Suigas, Dan Timinus, Everard Hadin, Antonio Castiglione, Newt Lingren
Total prize winnings and sponsorship in 2020: 5.0 million Loftemarks ($50 million)
6. Ajjacio (or Ajaccio) Arecia
The Corsican team has long been the pride of the wizards of that island, during Corsica's independence and its current status as a French departmente. Wizards will know that Corsican sorcerers have always played a huge role in international law, esp the writing of new treaties. It is also home to one of the historic big 5 Quidditch teams (along with Essen, Thuringen, Kologne and Alt Berliner), those with over 100 Grand Slams since 1645. And of course, it was the home of Francesare or Napoleon Bonaparte, the er 'Muggle' Emperor of France, who was by all accounts a great supporter of the team.
Ajjacio's Slam tally is 112 as of 2021, their last Grand Slam win being 5 years ago, in a shock upset to perennial favourites, Essen Dragons at the all-important Altstraase Open.
Club colours: pink and orange
Club logo: a setting orange sun on a white background
Team robes
By day: pink and orange stripes
By night: pink and orange stripes with white in between
Players: Claude Dessier (c), Radfort Trondain, Felipe Sugart, Deloise Rouger, Arain Hämmernesse, Garrick Belfry, Stanley Stanner
Total prize winnings and sponsorship in 2020: 6.1 million Loftemarks ($61 million)
7. Moskva Ilycic
The almost team of Quidditch, if Krum's Bulgar Kiev hadn't taken the title. Historically with 13 Grand Slams it is the best performer of the Russian and Eastern European clubs. Moskva is a consistent threat at the lower Opens but somehow never gets beyond the quarters of the Slams. However it has a fanatical following in Moscow, and its noisy fans always add colour to the big tournaments.
Club colours: red and silver
Club logo: silver knight on a red background
Team robes
By day: red
By night: red and silver stripes
Players: Antonio Córdes, Vladimir Dogesky (c), Vitali Shuskin, Emard Almagarde, Respirite Detrarte, Houmin Gogagarty, Marin Esselov
Total prize winnings and sponsorship in 2020: 4.2 million Loftemarks ($42 million)
8. Wien Wienstar
The Viennese club is a consistent performer, that much one has to admit. Thirty-eight Slams in total since the founding of the club in 1580 but even more impressively, over 600 quarter-final or better appearances at the six Grand Slams to its credit! Gellert Grindelwald's club! There is still a memorial to him at the clubhouse.
Club colours: blue and grey
Club logo: blue diamond on a grey background
Team robes
By day: light blue
By night: white and blue
Players: Herman Gösarde, Ilhain Fabergé, Dimitri Mirov, Wis Engel, Trenaign Muster (c), Pavan Schumer, Alfred Fritzhopf
Total prize winnings and sponsorship in 2020: 3.5 million Loftemarks ($35 million)
9. Munich Hoholf
The perpetual underdogs, usually ranked sub 15 in the 32 club first division. A ranking inside the top ten is a huge boost to the club, though it has 37 Grand Slams to its name, all from before 1750. Those golden years have never been replicated or added to by the hoholfs since, but you never know... with the southern German club back in the top ten, its supporters might well hope for return of the old glory. Of course they will have to get past Essen, against whom the blond haired boys have an absolutely abysmal 2-134 loss record over the last 25 years! And those two wins? Both early snitch captures.
Its captain, Hesse, was recently in the news, after photographers managed to get pics of him on the beach with Hans Geister. Those pics showed the two muscle hunks up close and personal, and having a very enjoyable time! The pictures will do nothing to dispel the impression that the Hoholfs never put up any real resistance to Essen...
Club colours: yellow and black
Club logo: brown bear surrounded by laurel leaves on a white background
Team robes
By day: yellow
By night: yellow and grey
Total prize winnings and sponsorship in 2020: 3.0 million Loftemarks ($30 million)
Players: Hemel Hesse (c), Manfried Reicher, Egbert Hengist, Joachim Trundberg, Leon Brummenheger, Dieter Grönig, Gunther Leith
10. Grenoble Néjard
The third of the big 3 French clubs. The Alpine club has a powerful history, 80 Grand Slams and it is at the winter Quidditch village near Grenoble, Aus'ay, where all comers can take part in the annual races including brooms pulling carts through the snow!
The front line up is almost all French, except for the seeker, Asphelius Rüger. Grenoble made a big move by attracting the Swiss seeker, Rüger, or Roger as he's commonly known, to the club. Widely tipped as the best seeker before Potter came along, Roger preferred to play for his home team of Bern in the second division, but after a decade and a half of the club failing to win a single significant trophy, finally abandoned sentimentality in favour of joining a big team. Grenoble's performances have improved since the move, as has its sponsorship earnings, but not enough to land the club another Grand Slam.
Club colours: green and red
Club logo: green oak leaf on a red background
Team robes
By day: dark green with a red oak insignia
By night: green and silver stripes
Players: Alois Berengar (c), Francois Tuschet, Sebastien De la Rue, Claude Hebier, Ernst Rheims, Marc Blanc, Asphelius 'Roger' Rüger
Total prize winnings and sponsorship in 2020: 5.5 million Loftemarks ($55 million)
Other well known teams:
12. Alt Berliner
Historically one of the big 5 Quidditch pro clubs, with 118 Grand Slams in 376 years, but out of the top ten the last few years due to on-pitch and off-pitch issues that have kept the team captain, Jovik Greiger, busy trying to keep the peace between his team mates!
The club is based at the famous Gershalt stadium, where the Berlin Cup, the richest prize in the sport, is held in August. With prize money of 215,000 Loftemarks and 1,500 points to the winning team (around $2 million), it leads Altstraase (prize money of 205,000 Loftemarks for the winner). Though supported by the Club's revenue from holding the Open, Alt Berliner's own finances have taken a big hit by its dropping out of the top ten, and at 2.5 million Loftemarks the club is well behind the levels now earned by the other 'Big 5'.
Club colours: blue and red
Club logo: a small black dragon holding a pennant in the left corner, a yellow lion holding a sword in the right, and a ship in full sail above, all contained in a red triangle below a blue background
Team robes
By day: navy blue
By night: blue and white
Players: Siglio Tullen, Aly Kurat, Harold Meier, Vitali Koskic, Tom Sanchez, Jovik Greiger (c), Robert Hess
Total prize winnings and sponsorship in 2020: 2.5 million Loftemarks ($25 million)
Berlin Open earnings: 200,000 Loftemarks ($2 million)
13. Bulgar Kiev
Viktor Krum's team. Which is based in neither Bulgaria nor Kiev (Ukraine) in case the name suggests either place to you. The club is based in Vladivostok, southern Russia, where there is a big Bulgar community.
Krum's commitment to play for his fellow Bulgar community has not exactly paid off, with the club's highest ranking still being the 6th position it earned in the PTA league in 2008. No sign yet of a Grand Slam for the club founded in 1458, and turned pro in 1843.
Club colours: blue and violet
Club logo: a winged white unicorn on a background divided into four triangles, alternately coloured blue and violet
Team robes
By day: blue with violet waistcoasts
By night: blue with white waistcoasts
Players: Minim Novasty, Radic Kosvokan, Mąsik Orkic, Beres Göbal, Hugo Siman, Jameel Dogan, Viktor Krum (c)
Total prize winning and sponsorship in 2020: 1.2 million Loftemarks ($12 million)
16. Milan Makismo
The most consistent Italian team, but one often accused of having more of an interest in fashion and looks than playing. As far as machismo and dark handsome looks go, they are a requirement it seems for being a team member, and Milan have many devoted fans of their model look superstars. Only Essen has a handsomer team, as Milan chaser, Aroigio Casavé generously conceded in an interview in Il Wizard Uncomparador (The Incomparable Wizard; a paper ranked 3rd in sales in Italy). Essen are very popular in Italy, and Hans Geister and the Essen team have oft stated that it was their 'second home' when playing the Rome Open.
We should say more about this rivalry in the handsome stakes, because Essen's arrival in Rome always makes for huge media fanfare. Pictures of Italian fans mobbing the Essen team, and ripping off robes, are all part of the annual fun! Indeed, the testosterone runs so high that it is a new tradition for Essen and Makismo players to let fans get very close and personal after matches!
As you can imagine the hedonism and the assumption in Italy that Essen or local favourites Milan should win, has irked some other teams. Dortmund have recently said they won't play at Rome, the unofficial seventh Grand Slam, if the open hero-worship continues. "For the pure-bloods to lecture others on decency, and then throw off their clothes and allow fans to kiss their naked bodies, is an interesting lesson in hypocrisy," said the Dortmund captain, David Bodgamo in an interview with Germany's number two newspaper, The Bilghor. "The Essen players think they are gods for winning a few Grand Slams, and above any morality. That's for their untermenschen opponents."
Others such as Thuringen captain, Claude Bösch, have taken a more relaxed view of the heady behaviour and dismissed the displays, suggesting Dortmund were just jealous. It is "only what goes on in private. A lot of players get muscle and fan worship. What's a little male fun?" That view was echoed by Kologne chaser, Akamin Reiser "it doesn't involve any girl fans, so what is Dortmund's problem? There is no immorality in it. It is very unmanly to say it."
Club colours: red and black
Club logo: black-leaf oak tree on a red background
Team robes
By day: black and red squares, or black with a red leaves
By night: grey and red squares
Players: Guido Boselli (c), Ricardo Maria-Fiore, Aroigio Casavé, Paolo Clemente, Sergio Lorenzo, Luigi Ruiso, Alessandro Cresci,
Total prize winnings and sponsorship in 2020: 3.1 million Loftemarks ($31 million)
25. Dortmund Duffers
A well known club though not one of the big teams, and they are still without a Grand Slam to their name despite 345 years of being in the top division of 32 clubs. However, Dortmund regularly get through a few rounds at Grand Slams and are always in the news. The recent controversies with Essen, their local rivals, continue to give them a high profile. The club's players who are often wandless (hence 'duffers') have been accused by some of being half-goblins or schmuts.
Their lead chaser, Lestrin Argwartol, said "Wizards always discriminate against Muggles, but when they discriminate against Muggle-borns and wandless wizards, they are scraping the bottom of the barrel." The comment was seen as a pointed rejoinder to remarks by Essen, who along with Thuringen and Kologne are seen as the pure-blood set or pro-Grindelwald clubs.
Other clubs and their ranking in the top flight:
11. Bilboa Arbo'ath - upcoming Spanish club
14. Genoa Grimaldan
15. Kazan Vai - 2nd ranked Russian team
17. Dusseldorf Albatrosses
18. Bruges Boisé
19. The Copenhagen Club
20. Bremen Hemergötthaven
21. Turin à Turîne
22. Stockholm Highflyers
23. Utrechtën Nïlszingen
24. Oslo Sporting
26. Pervs Prague
27. Rostock Riders
28. Stadt Harriers
29. Prussian Knights
31. Bremerhaven
32. Budapest Mäsyak
Note, 28 of the top 32 are given automatic entry into 32 team format events. The remaining four places are for qualifiers from division 1 and division 2. This structure means the bottom 4 teams in the international league are always in danger of relegation at any time during the season, due to a good run by a second division team. There is no limit to the changes between divisions. This is unlike Muggle football leagues where the lowest 4 teams are relegated at the end of the season.